WRITE, REVISE, REPEAT

Picture This

2011-04-22T12:49:00.000-05:00

So the lovely and talented Trish, EMLA's social media goddess, suggested we take a closer look at our blogs and determine what we can uniquely offer to the blogging world.

Two things I'm passionate about at the moment are writing and photography, especially if there's an eerie twist. (Hence my March 1 post on the amazing Ruins of Detroit photographers.) But how to combine the two? I started thinking about those exercises in high school English, the ones where they throw out a sentence to kick-start the creative process.

In place of inspirational sentences, I figured I could post photos to get the muse off her comfy couch and back to hovering helpfully over my shoulder where she belongs. Now I'm the first to admit that I'm VERY MUCH an amateur photographer, but this new plan helps me pursue three worthy goals: blog on a more regular basis (at least twice a week), take more pictures, and use those pictures to get unstuck when I hit a wall in the writing process. If this benefits anyone out there in ANY way at all, so much the better!

And what better day to start than today? I chose fall leaves on a weathered path, because based on today's forecast I'd swear we skipped spring and summer and jumped right back into fall.

Mirror, Mirror

2011-04-20T15:13:00.003-05:00

This weekend I had the privilege of attending my first EMLA client retreat. Leading up to the flight on Friday morning I kept waiting to feel excited but couldn't move past jittery panic. Those head voices kept taunting, "This was a terrible idea. You don't belong there. You're a groupie and a hack. A HACK, I say!"

Of course every person I encountered was warm, accepting, funny, shining with intelligence and good grace and advice and creative energy. Still, it took me a while to quit acting like a groupie. At one point I got up the nerve to talk to one very gracious, articulate writer and the only thing I could think of to say was, "I really like your shoes."

Why is it so easy to be accepting of others and so hard to accept ourselves? Why are we so MEAN to ourselves?

The hotel bathroom had one of those free-standing mirrors that magnify your face by like 20 times. (And remind me later to punch whoever came up with that oh-so-flattering piece of ingenuity.) It finally dawned on me, glancing in that mirror and being horrified even though I knew it was a distorted reality, that I magnify my nonphysical shortcomings the same way, complete with bad lighting and a handy Big Book of Insults.

You know what? Nobody at the retreat was mean. Not one soul. They opened their arms wide and welcomed me, and something amazing happened. My little bubble of isolation and head voices couldn't withstand the awesomeness. I learned so much. I smiled and talked SO MUCH. I listened to people read from their work and yes, a little envy crept in but mostly I felt inspired and lifted, able to recognize room for growth in my own work and be excited about it without the customary negativity and self-doubt.

It was joy. I miss it already. After inheriting dozens of writerly siblings, you can’t help but come home and attack your work in progress with new vigor and clarity and…dare I say it? Confidence.

Mood Music

2011-03-15T14:05:00.006-05:00

To any writers out there, do you listen to music when you write? Does music distract you, or does it get those brain waves hopping? And what if brain waves really did hop around like fuzzy little bunnies? Inquiring minds want to know!

I find that listening to music helps me settle into a more productive groove when I write--especially if I choose music to suit the fictional setting. The book I'm working on right now takes place in a small midwestern town amidst a family of junk collectors. My playlist for this book so far includes the group Mumford & Sons and the soundtrack from O Brother, Where Art Thou?. Yes, I'm channeling a group from London and a movie from the deep south, but somehow it works. Here's hoping the playlist--and the word count--will keep on growing!

2011-03-01T22:13:00.005-06:00

In recent weeks I’ve seen several articles around the web about photographers documenting urban decay in Detroit. It’s fascinating stuff!

As someone who dabbles in photography and who also loves a good sprinkling of the eerie and unknown, I find these pictures irresistible. They give me shivers. They’re delicious, drenched in story, a feast for the imagination.

The photographers are Yves Marchand and Romain Meffre, and their site is here.

Love, love, love, love, LOVE this stuff. Cannot get enough.

Oh, and the Phillips 66 pic is one of mine--a humble attempt from the first month of my first photography class. But I had a blast driving around searching for old, tumbledown stuff to shoot.

Agented!

2011-01-12T11:32:00.004-06:00

I’ve wanted to be a writer ever since my first hard-hitting journalism assignment on snails for the Balboa Elementary School newsletter. After cultivating a love for kidlit in college, I finally found my groove and finished my first novel about ten years ago.

Five more years went by before I got serious about submitting, but I was a hopeless newbie. I made a lot of mistakes, and seriously underestimated the amount of time it takes to hear back from anyone in publishing. I submitted to a handful of publishers before discovering the treasure trove of information and support that is Verla Kay’s message board. I switched my focus to agents. I cleaned up my manuscript and received a few requests, but it soon became clear that I was missing the mark.

So while continuing to query I did what good writers should: wrote another book. Unfortunately it was a sequel to the first one--another rookie mistake (can’t sell the sequel if you don’t sell the original!). Plus we lived overseas at the time, creating a disconnect in my own head that I couldn’t seem to overcome. All in all I sent about 50 queries on that first book before moving on.

We navigated our way through a foreign adoption, then moved back across the ocean in ’08. I wrote and polished book #3 and started querying again in Jan. 2010. There were more requests and better feedback this time, but after about 20 queries still nothing concrete. I branched out, rewrote the query, explored writing blogs, and eventually stumbled on an offer by blogger (now agent) Weronika Janczuk to critique a query + 10 pages for anyone who submitted. Her generosity eventually landed me an agent.

Weronika provided great feedback and posted my query in April. The next month I received a request to read the full from Ammi-Joan Paquette of the Erin Murphy Literary Agency. (!!!!!!!!) She later called to suggest revisions and invited me to resubmit. I quit querying and got to work.

It took a second call and another round of revisions before the book was where it needed to be, but on 1/11/11, I got THE CALL from Joan. She is wonderful. Life is good. Here’s what I learned:

Total time from request to offer: 8 months
Conclusions:
a) Don’t give up.
b) Work hard to improve your craft.
c) Find writer friends. They understand! Help each other. Lift others up when they're down, and they will do the same for you.
d) Dig deep for patience and be productive while you wait.

Husbands with infinite patience of their own also help quite a bit. Thanks, honey!

The Weird and Wonderful Mr. Thurber

2011-01-07T20:33:00.001-06:00

While browsing at an antique shop today I found a copy of The Thurber Carnival, a collection of stories, drawings, and poems by James Thurber. I discovered his work in college and remember being all at once charmed, amused, and utterly befuddled. So of course I snatched that book right up.

It's been fun paging through, enjoying the book in bite-sized pieces. This guy worked for The New Yorker. He collaborated with E.B. White (another favorite). He wrote the awesome picture book Many Moons. Composer Peter Schickele of P.D.Q. Bach fame wrote a really cool symphony called Thurber's Dogs, based on some of Thurber's most famous cartoons.

And you know what else is cool? Mo Willems's travel memoir You Can Never Find a Rickshaw When it Monsoons, a cartoon-a-day treasure with a very Thurber-esque flavor of humor.

I'm also reading Bill Bryson's The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid. What better month than January to fill your reading list with plenty of funny?

Books are awesome.

Lovely Libraries

2010-10-19T10:02:00.005-05:00

I never got around to posting about our trip to the UK in June, but one of the best things we saw was the incredible library, The Long Room, at Trinity College in Dublin. It was jaw-droppingly beautiful, books floor to ceiling, and had this rich, lush quality that made you feel smart just sitting and soaking it in.

We weren't allowed to take photos, so I went in search of one online and found the super-cool site called Curious Expeditions. It was the Librophiliac Love Letter post that left me drooling, but the whole site is worth exploring.

I had no idea there were so many take-your-breath-away, GORGEOUS, I-want-to-live-there libraries around the world.

*Photo from Curious Expeditions

The Books That Shape Us

2010-10-13T16:14:00.009-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about those few select, amazing books that define who we are. The ones we read over and over, whose characters own our hearts and souls. The books that come along at critical points in life, from childhood on up, to help us make sense of the world. Books that are beloved because they took us to magical places, or revealed certain truths, or held a mirror up for us to examine our lives, both trials and triumphs.

I've blogged before about childhood favorites, including Trixie Belden and Bread and Jam for Frances. Cleary and Blume were staples, along with Cynthia Voigt and Shel Silverstein. Others I didn't discover until college, like the Narnia books (I know!) and Lloyd Alexander's Prydain chronicles and Susan Cooper's Dark Is Rising series. A kid lit class in college opened my eyes to an entire world of authors I'd never known: Ursula Le Guin, Diana Wynne Jones, Roald Dahl, Zilpha Keatley Snyder, Frances Hodgson Burnett. I became a regular at used book stores. It was a second childhood, a Renaissance, that's still going strong--and still shaping who I am as both a reader and a writer.

The talent of today's authors is no less jawdropping. I have to fight with myself over every new Megan Whalen Turner book, whether to gobble it up or savor every page.

Where did it all start? With my mom. She passed away this summer, and the last few years of her life were so tough on her. Circumstances required that I assume the role of caregiver, and it deeply strained the relationship between us that I'd always cherished. But a little distance has granted me a wealth of perspective. I've been able to reflect on her legacy, on the many gifts she bestowed, not the least of which was a love of reading. I don't remember how often we read together, or how consistently, but I do know that after every doctor's appointment to treat my persistent tonsillitis, she took me to the drugstore to pick out a new book. She read aloud to me, classics like David Copperfield and Alice in Wonderland and Little Women. And she indulged my frequent trips to the library. She didn't mind that I brought home armfuls of books. She raised an eyebrow but didn't fuss during my many obsessive phases, from ghosts to poetry to classical LPs.

The past fews years I've been watching my oldest son, now 11, devour books. He prefers series, like Fablehaven and Harry Potter and The Secret Series (This Book Is Not Good for You), because he can revisit familiar characters like old friends. I can't help but agree.

However the landscape of publishing changes in the next decade, I hope he'll always have a book in his hand. And I hope my mom knows, somehow, that every time I pick up a book, a part of her is there with me.

10-10-10

2010-10-10T22:22:00.002-05:00

How could I not post on this really nifty date, especially with so many interesting things going on in the Hayes household?

Loving the gorgeous fall weather. Vivid blue skies, crunchy, colorful leaves, pumpkins and mums and that crisp morning air. Divine!

We made our annual trek to the pumpkin patch on Friday, mostly for the photo op. The grocery store would be easier (and cheaper!), but some traditions are non-negotiable.

Our house is nearly sold, at last! Don't want to jinx it, but we're due to sign the papers in less than two weeks. Boo-yah! It will be nice to have that stress off our plates.

I have tickets to an Oprah taping on Friday! How cool is that? Now that we're Chicagoites...Chicagoers...residents of the Chicago area, I had to try for tickets, and lo and behold, I scored some through the web site! The taping could be just about anything, I reckon, but just the experience should be once-in-a-lifetime.

Two family birthdays this month, one next month, and company for Thanksgiving. Several work trips for hubby coming up, including another to India.

Oh, and a possible writing breakthrough soon. Perhaps. Time will tell, but it's been a great month so far, so I'm crossing fingers and toes.

We Interrupt This Ridiculously Long Lapse in Posting...

2010-09-21T10:00:00.002-05:00

to share a link to the super cool blog of a super cool writer, Elissa Cruz:

http://elissacruz.blogspot.com/

I've gotten to know Elissa through Verla Kay's message board (see link to the right), a shining oasis for children's writers in all stages of their writing journeys. Elissa is funny, smart, and a force for good in promoting middle-grade books and their authors.

Happy blogiversary, Elissa!

Revisionland

2010-08-17T19:00:00.002-05:00

Arrgggghh. I sound like a pirate, but I'm merely venting frustration at the slow pace of my current manuscript revisions. How they taunt me!

Three more chapters 'til I can wash my hands of it, hopefully with my sanity intact--and without anyone nominating me for the Messiest House in America.

Life Is Weird

2010-06-29T11:05:00.005-05:00

My husband and I had an amazing anniversary trip to England, Ireland, and Scotland. I was looking forward to posting pictures and blogging about the experience. Then life, as it so often does, threw a wrench in the works. A huge, weird, completely bizarre, "How does this happen?" kind of wrench.

We were sitting in the Dublin airport, awaiting our flight home, when the hubby checked his voice messages and discovered that a man had collapsed while driving down our street and ended up in our living room.

In his car.

This is our house in Peoria, the one that's been for sale since August and is thankfully, mercifully empty. I can't imagine what might have happened if we'd still been living there. Or if someone else had bought it and was living there.

The driver is fine. The house not so much. 45 miles per hour + brick wall = big hole. I think the house is cursed, it's been through so much in such a short time.

I haven't seen the damage yet. It's probably just as well. We're meeting the insurance guy there on Friday and I'm sure I'll shed some tears. It's such a beautiful house. Beautiful and terrible, like Galadriel.

Stupid wrench. A cab driver who heard the story told us cheerfully that luck often comes from unlikely places. The verdict is still out on this one.

The Dangers of Living a Stone's Throw from Wisconsin

2010-05-24T21:45:00.005-05:00

Ever since we moved to the Chicago area a few months ago, I've been obsessed with the idea of driving to Wisconsin to tour a cheese factory and eat samples.

This weekend we took the plunge. We came home with smoked cheddar and gouda and farmer's cheese and some other amazing cheese I can't remember the name of. A decent amount of it has already been eaten, mostly by me. I think the original (naive) idea was to "cook" with it, but it goes down just as easily with chips and salsa.

Yum. Several of the cheese factories/retail stores on the oversized tourism board map also serve ice cream and fudge, just in case the cheese isn't healthy enough for you.

I'm in serious trouble.

The Funny Things We Say

2010-05-21T14:24:00.006-05:00

Three-year-old daughter:

eppercise = exercise
flamily = family
chocolick = chocolate
ows cream = ice cream
Sleeping Booty (self-explanatory)

Me:

"I'm almost caught up on the laundry." = "I've hidden the laundry in strategic places around the house so I don't have to look at it."

"I'm giving up Pepsi any day now." = "I'll go an extra hour without my sugar/caffeine fix, get a headache, get twitchy, snap at everyone, then lose my resolve and head for the fridge."

"I will no longer obsess about the writing thing." = "I'll bottle it all up then take it out on my poor, unsuspecting flamily."

*My apologies to whomever crafted this Cameron icon. I stumbled across it years ago, saved it to the hard drive for future use because of its sheer awesomeness, and promptly forgot where I found it.

When Good Mountains Go Bad

2010-05-18T13:53:00.009-05:00

Today is the 30th anniversary of the Mt. St. Helens eruption. I was seven years old (meep! how time flies!) that Sunday afternoon when the sky went dark in Spokane, WA.

I don't remember feeling scared, really. Just fascinated. When the skies cleared we had a few inches of ash on the ground, like gritty, gray snow. We scooped some up in jelly jars and pill bottles to save for posterity. Plows and snow shovels came out of storage to deal with the rest.

I wish I'd been older. I wish I could remember more. The significance of such a major event sailed right over my little head. One of my most vivid memories involves the paper masks we wore to protect our lungs. Volunteers at school painted clown faces and puppies and kitties on the masks so we'd be more inclined to wear them.

I've always wanted to frame this event as a story, somehow. Funny how the random things that happen in childhood provide fuel for our grown-up imaginations.

Photos from fas.org and US geological survey, respectively. Couldn't find a single photo of those silly masks, though.

Hearing Voices

2010-05-13T13:34:00.003-05:00

The amazing Nathan Bransford blogged recently about infusing your writing with a memorable voice. I've been waffling back and forth between first and third person on my current project, trying to decide which is stronger; which one creates a more believable connection with the main character.

First person seems best in this case, but here's where I'm struggling: I find myself second guessing every single descriptive passage.

Me: "Ooh, that's a good phrase, that's a keeper."
*gives self imaginary, premature pat on the back*
Me: "Wait. Is it something a twelve-year-old boy would think or say?"
*says line out loud*
*cringes*
Me: "Crap."
*deletes*

My two previous manuscripts were much easier in this regard (first-person teenage girl, third-person tween boy). Can a grown woman convincingly capture a preteen boy's point-of-view? Sure, J.K. Rowling did it, but she's J.K. Rowling. And she used third person.

This should be an interesting experiment. It will probably require large quantities of chocolate.

Bits and Pieces

2010-05-10T16:22:00.005-05:00

Yay! I made it past the first page of my WIP. \0/

My newest difficulty is nodding off while writing. That's right: I'm boring myself into midday slumber. (It may also have something to do with staying up until 2 am several nights this week.)

Mother's Day was a hit, though DH had to catch a flight to NY in the afternoon. He bought me a skillet and sat there watching me squirm, trying to act excited, until he pulled out a pair of diamond earrings--easily the nicest jewelry I've ever owned, next to my wedding ring. What an amazing guy.

I also had to share this last tidbit about our cornball Middle Child. We were sitting at First-Born's game Saturday in the freezing cold weather (they won!). MC wanted to go sit in the car. I suggested he watch the game to get some pointers, since his first game is two weeks away. He rolled his eyes, flung out his hands and said in all seriousness: "But I'm already fantastic!"

Hee. It's true the kid can hit. His other skills...need work.

Zero help required in the confidence department.

First Drafts: the Good, the Bad, and the Horrific

2010-05-07T19:29:00.004-05:00

I'm very excited to be working on a new middle-grade novel. That thrill of possibility is like a permanent sugar rush. These past few weeks I've been trying to get to know my characters, discarding ideas that don't feel quite right, fleshing out plot and setting.

The trouble is, I've started this thing several times and each time I end up throwing out most of what I write. I have a passable first page. Good. Fine. Great. But whenever I open the document intending to pound out a thousand words, I get stuck on that first page, tweaking, trying to make every word perfect. Gah. Words that seemed spot-on one day sit there on the page and mock me the next day. MY BOOK IS LAUGHING AT ME.

There's definitely a learning curve. At least the main character has found his voice and is not afraid to speak up. And apparently he has a lively sense of humor.

Book Phobia

2010-05-05T22:04:00.004-05:00

Do you ever avoid reading books because there are too many of them to read?

I have shelves and shelves of must-reads gathering dust, and I'm so intimidated by them that I spend hours wasting time on the Internet.

Reading.

After browsing a handful of agent and author blogs tonight, I'm reminded of all the AMAZING books out there, many released within the last year or two. Now I'm even more intimidated, because I know it's time for another trip to the bookstore, where I'll buy more books that I don't read.

Help! There must be a trick to breaking the cycle of avoidance. I need a library, STAT. Maybe they have a summer reading program for grownups.

Baseball Geeks

2010-05-04T21:41:00.003-05:00

Our oldest son had his first official game tonight. He got a hit and sent a runner home! They won the game! I'm living vicariously through my kid and I'm not ashamed to admit it!

I am an indoor girl, through and through. I never played an organized sport. I quit the dance lessons pretty early in the game. I grew up as a band geek and preferred books and TV to pretty much anything involving bugs and/or dirt.

But I'm having so much dang fun with this baseball thing. We were like the second family to show up for the game (mostly to stake out prime viewing spots with our folding chairs). We've been to every practice so far, wearing silly grins, watching our 10-year-old play an actual sport for the first time. Most of the other parents are veterans, cool as cucumbers. Not that they don't cheer on their kids. They're great. Just calmer. They can even carry on conversations while the kids are IN THE MIDDLE OF A GAME, and are more prone to spouting cool baseball chatter, and less prone to wearing silly grins.

Little League

2010-05-02T16:27:00.005-05:00

Our new town has a fantastic youth baseball league, and our boys are signed up to play! Just going to practices, sitting outdoors, soaking up the atmosphere...it's settled something in me that's been restless--homeless--for a long time. I think we're finally home, finally in a place we can settle in to build a sense of permanence.

Baseball is so many things. It's comfortable. It's community. It's mowed grass and dusty fields. Hot dogs and folding chairs. Hope and hard work, focus and faith.

People often speak of baseball as a metaphor for life. For our family, it represents something simpler but no less profound: peace.

The boys are happy. We are Nomads no more. Life is good.

Back In Business, Baby!

2010-04-21T00:48:00.003-05:00

We can't park in the garage because it's full of empty boxes! Wahoo!

There are still plenty of unpacked boxes in the basement, but since we never go down there I can pretend that we're completely moved in.

Suffering from frequent periods of restlessness? Spending way too much time online for no good reason? You too may be suffering from acute procrastination. I can no longer ignore the signs that I'm using the move as an excuse to avoid real life. Time to get back to writing/blogging/being a useful member of society.

Time Out

2010-03-29T10:44:00.002-05:00

House guests last week, moving this week.

Return of sanity expected sometime mid-April.

Childhood Favorites, Part III

2010-03-18T22:34:00.003-05:00

Bread and Jam for Frances appealed to me because I was a picky eater, and because Frances made up songs to work through her problems. The best word I can think of here is authenticity. Frances's actions rang completely true. We were of one mind, Frances and I. Why shouldn't a girl be able to eat the one thing she loves over and over and over?

And again, looking at it today I'm struck by the skillful use of color and simplicity. Funny how when you're young sometimes you can't express exactly why you like something. You just do. It's reassuring to know that on occasion, my younger self had excellent taste.

Childhood Favorites, Part II

2010-03-17T14:56:00.007-05:00

Next on the list of awesome childhood books: Harold and the Purple Crayon, by Crockett Johnson.

Man, I loved that book. Elegant simplicity. Delightful ingenuity. Infinite possibility. I couldn't wait to turn the pages, to see how Harold would draw himself into or out of each new predicament.

Looking at it now I'm amazed at the brilliant use of space and color, at how masterfully those two elements spark the imagination, inviting the reader to step into the book and look around. It was a shared experience: me and Harold, side by side, out for a stroll in the big, wide world.

Childhood Favorites, Part I

2010-03-16T13:00:00.004-05:00

This week I felt an impulse to revisit a few of the books I loved as a kid. No doubt there are many I've forgotten, and some I look at now and think, "Bzuh?". Tastes change and memories fail, but there will always be standouts that leave a lasting impression. Today I pay tribute to the irrepressible teenage detective, Trixie Belden.

Trixie was fearless and smart (though her brothers had to tutor her in math, if I remember right). She wasn't traditionally pretty, like Di or Honey, but cute in her own way--at least Jim thought so! Even 25 years ago the books were hopelessly dated, but I couldn't get enough of them. Who could resist a flawed, likeable heroine who solved mysteries and whose favorite word was "Jeepers!"?

Winds of Change

2010-03-07T22:03:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking about the concept of blog-as-venue-for-venting-and-random-observations vs. blog-as-potential-platform-for-future-novel. I'd like to make a shift toward more literary-minded posts, but there are so many amazing blogs out there already (with followers, no less!) that address everything from book reviews to finding an agent to marketing your work.

I suppose it's about finding and cultivating your blog Voice, which isn't so different from the writing process itself. I'll give it a whirl and see where it leads.

The Winter Blahs

2010-02-28T18:11:00.002-06:00

I could really use some flowers and a temperature above 35 degrees. Any day now. C'mon, spring!

Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs

2010-02-26T12:19:00.003-06:00

Does anybody else remember this cereal?

In my memory it tasted like perfection, like sunshine and gumdrops. In reality it probably tasted like sand. Either way it didn't matter. Just the name alone could get you through the day.

Photo from theimaginaryworld.com.

Comfortably Numb

2010-02-26T01:02:00.001-06:00

Too tired to go to bed. Not tired enough to quit flipping through the mind-numbing array of late-night tv programming.

Mom Syndrome

2010-02-17T22:19:00.004-06:00

Most days I'm grateful to be a stay-at-home mom, but there are certainly times when I miss working in an office environment--having contact with peers (or even just adults!), getting recognition for a job well done, wearing slacks or a cute skirt instead of pajama pants all day.

And then there are days when my tall, thin, blond, beautiful accountant neighbor stops by to pick up her kids and I have food stains on my shirt and my hair in a claw clip and no makeup on, and I don't even know if I've brushed my teeth all day.

Yeesh.

Cheapskate Sweet Tooth

2010-02-15T21:30:00.006-06:00

It's okay to buy yourself Valentine's candy if it's half off, right? I hate to think of all those poor, lonely boxes of chocolate just sitting on the shelf.

If only half off meant half the calories.

Time Travel

2010-02-14T20:25:00.002-06:00

I just noticed that my posts are showing up as a day ahead. Maybe Blogger thinks I'm still in the Philippines. *scratches head and goes to search for a way to fix it*

Please Pass the Potato Soup

2010-02-14T19:49:00.004-06:00

Cheesy potato soup is my comfort food. I made a batch tonight to try to smooth the wrinkles of a long, tiring day.

Hubby's at a conference in Florida until Wednesday. The kids are so weary of being cooped up indoors that they're fighting constantly and running in circles. Every frantic, high-pitched squeal is like a drill bit to the brain.

I love my children more than life itself, but if we don't have some warmer weather soon, I may have to check myself into a nice, quiet padded room. Preferably in Florida.

Happy Heart Day

2010-02-13T18:37:00.007-06:00

I ended up in a store today, against my better judgment, and it was just as crazy as I feared.

But it was also funny and totally heartwarming to see guys of all ages, races, and economic backgrounds haunting the Valentine's section, staring at the shelves of stuffed bears in befuddlement or reading card after card in search of the perfect pre-written romantic sentiment.

The realist in me knows that half those guys were there because they'd get a good kick in the butt (or at least a few days of the silent treatment) if they didn't buy their sweethearts something for Valentine's Day. My hubby knows this from personal experience. :) But it's also sweet to see them trying, not just grabbing something off the shelf but giving it some actual thought. You could almost hear the conversation in their heads:

The big purple one has "I love you" on its stomach, but this brown one looks more like an actual bear, plus it plays that song from Titanic.

Yes, I realize my guy voice is not even a little bit authentic. And truth be told, I struggled just as much to think of something original for my sweetheart. He's getting a new case and a reading light for his Kindle. Eventually. Apparently expedited shipping meant "your purchase will arrive in a week or so."

Olympic Moments

2010-02-12T20:40:00.004-06:00

Watching the Opening Ceremonies tonight brings back vivid memories of the Salt Lake Games. It was amazing to be there, to experience that electricity, that current of optimism and joy and pride. We tried for tickets through the wristband lottery but ultimately had to buy them the old-fashioned way: eBay.

We saw the women's figure skating short program (waaaay up in the nosebleed seats) and a men's hockey game (I think it was Belarus vs. Russia). I remember the huge banners that draped the buildings downtown, and the silly Roots berets that sold out because they were THE hot item to wear.

I admit it--I love the stories of sacrifice and lifelong struggle that emerge during the Olympics, no matter what country the athletes are from, because in most cases they've worked their whole lives in pursuit of a dream, and then they're there, they've made it, they've accomplished something truly great. Medals or no medals, it's the triumph of the human spirit that gets me every time.

Reading Habits

2010-02-11T10:23:00.003-06:00

My daughter's current bedtime story of choice is OLIVIA.

I don't know whether to be thrilled at her excellent taste in books, or terrified that she thinks of Olivia as a kindred spirit.

Our oldest just tore his way through the first four Percy Jackson books and wants to see the new movie on Friday. This makes me insanely happy. He's read all the Harry Potters and Artemis Fowls and Fablehaven books. He's halfway through the Prydain chronicles. I could use some recommendations on middle-grade boy series. We have the Dark Is Rising books but they're not quite to his taste. Maybe the Tripod books? Hmm. Time for a trip to the bookstore.

Our seven-year-old claims not to like reading, but he loves dogs even more than Mario Kart, so we're reading dog chapter books every night in hopes of getting him hooked. It's kind of like a puzzle, finding the right book for the right kid.

What a wonderful problem to have.

A Cry for Help

2010-02-09T19:18:00.004-06:00

Have I mentioned that Bejeweled is awesome? Oh, right. Yesterday.

But it tells me I'm excellent and incredible. How many other games are both sparkly and provide an instant ego boost?

Plus the offer we were expecting on the house today didn't come, so distractions were especially welcome.

If I post about Bejeweled again tomorrow, someone may need to stage an intervention.

Distractions

2010-02-08T15:09:00.004-06:00

I went for months without playing Bejeweled on my iPod. Now that I'm done with revisions on Killer Earthlings, Bejeweled is my distraction (i.e. time waster) of choice.

It's a simple, slightly addictive way to recharge before I start the next book. It also makes a good distraction when I start obsessing about whether this will be the week we sell the house, or when I freak out if there's a Fruity Pebble on the floor.

Plus those little gems are just so sparkly, and they make those cool pling and goong noises when they collapse.

I'm totally not addicted. I can quit any time I want.

Now where did I put that iPod...?

Sick Day

2010-01-27T21:13:00.005-06:00

The boys were home sick from school today--nothing major, just the sniffles. But the daughter and I have them too, so we were a house full of bored, sniffling people. I played way too many games of Bejeweled and checked e-mail like 1,000 times. The kids have played so much Mario Kart, they're better drivers than I am. I could probably send them out in the van to run errands and they'd make it home without a scratch (and in record time).

Psych is back tonight with new episodes, and I am a happy camper. (Though I can't watch it 'til the hubby gets back in town, since watching it together is kind of our thing.) Is it sad that I'm this excited about a TV show? It's just so silly and fun, with its 80s guest stars and Scooby Doo plots. Just watching the commercials for it makes me smile.

Smiling is good. Sniffling, not as good.

Ah, Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha

2010-01-26T16:51:00.002-06:00

It's hilarious to see what I wrote a few weeks ago, something about everything changing and promising job opportunities and resolution to this endless waiting. Plus actually being excited about the query process when I had forgotten how brutal and agonizing and soul-crushing it is, and how it actually involves MORE WAITING.

We (Bryce) didn't get the job in Seattle. I had such high hopes. His company is still dragging its feet on the Naperville move/housing situation. And only one showing on our house this month.

Ugh.

But. I was reminded yesterday why daughters are completely awesome. When I was having a poor-me, despair filled day yesterday, she brought me a plastic tiara and a sparkly magic wand and let me tell you, wearing a tiara makes everything better. I swear.

I may have to wear one every day. Or at least until life decides to be a little more kind.

Holy Life Changes, Batman!

2010-01-04T23:50:00.003-06:00

Killer Earthlings is finished! Hooray and hallelujah! Finally finished the first draft Christmas weekend and I'm SO eager to start querying. I've been out of the game too long.
Must. Resist. Premature. Queries. Must. Edit. Instead. Arrggh. (Although I feel like the first half of the book has been tinkered with so much it doesn't need too much work. It's the second half I'm worried about.)

Big things are also happening on the husband's job front. The house has been up for sale for four months in preparation for our move to Chicago/Naperville. This is the month we demand that they move us to an apartment or something (and of course, PAY for it) so Bryce doesn't have to do the back and forth thing anymore.

However, there is another job possibility in the works on the other side of the country. A very, very tempting possibility. One way or the other, this is the week when everything changes.

I also have to take a moment to gripe that 2009 was the year we fixed practically everything in this lovely house of ours (plus a ruined transmission in the van), so we were relieved to see New Year's Day, 2010. A fresh start. Lots of optimism to go around.

Naturally that's the day our furnace went kablooey.

The heat is fixed now, so we're warm and grateful about the $700 price tag, which could have so easily been $4000. And as far as we're concerned, 2010 started on January 2.

Sleepy Sunday

2009-03-15T18:03:00.003-05:00

I was 20 minutes late for church today because I drove right past the exit because I was daydreaming, and the next exit is 10 miles down the road. This is not the first time I've done this. *shakes head at self and sighs*

Also I wanted to share a cool quote I read on Harold Underdown's site, The Purple Crayon:

"The children know. They have always known. But we choose to think otherwise: it hurts to know the children know. If we obfuscate, they will not see. Thus we conspire to keep them from knowing and seeing. And if we insist, then the children, to please us, will make believe they do not know, they do not see. They are remarkable--patient, loving, and all-forgiving. It is a sad comedy: the children knowing and pretending they don't know to protect us from knowing they know."

-- Maurice Sendak, preface to I Dream of Peace (UNICEF, HarperCollins l994). With thanks to Sara Jane Boyer.

Yeah, Sure, You Betcha

2009-03-05T11:07:00.004-06:00

We're thinking of going to Minneapolis over spring break. The kids and I have never been (unless you count the airport). It's about a seven-hour drive, and seems like a cool city. We might even meet Aunt Niesja there and make it an all-out party. After all, nothing screams SPRING BREAK!!! like Minnesota. :)

In Which Christine Attempts to Join the 21st Century and Also Make Some Money

2009-02-28T09:49:00.004-06:00

I finally caved and joined Facebook. Just what I needed--another way to waste time on the Internet! The hubby raves about it though, so we'll give it a shot.

Have also been doing some freelance writing. The pay is pretty abysmal, but at least it's pay.

Hee

2009-02-24T17:30:00.004-06:00

This has to be the funniest (and saddest) email spam subject line I've ever seen:

"BUY a degree--the new way of earning a degree!"

There's a sad commentary in there somewhere about the world's definition of "earning."

Sunday Musings

2009-02-15T08:57:00.006-06:00

First off, a summary of our Valentine's Day 2009: sick kids. :(

Though I did receive some gorgeous red roses with the longest stems I've ever seen. Thanks, sweetie!

Speaking of red, winter in Illinois brings an unexpected delight: cardinals. I love glancing out the kitchen window to spot a shock of red bright against the snow or perched among the bare branches. Such pretty things! I had never seen a cardinal before we moved here. They are a simple but striking reminder of God's glorious handiwork.

(This was labeled as a free stock photo. Any infringement is not on purpose!)

Oh, and re: deathmatch results: I don't actually believe there's any fair comparison between the Philippines and ANYWHERE in the US, except maybe the beaches. There's simply no place like home. It was just so strange for me to be missing Manila SO MUCH that it felt like a blog-worthy event. Illinois gets the big, shiny, make-believe belt buckle. Well-played!

Deathmatch: Illinois vs. Philippines

2009-02-08T21:35:00.002-06:00

I miss the Philippines today. Like, a lot. I'm having one of those glossy nostalgia days where all the icky stuff fades away and all I can remember is the stuff I liked.

I liked church. People always took time to smile and say hello.

I liked our huge bedroom with the octagon ceiling.

I liked traveling to Subic Bay and Boracay and the occasional foreign country.

I liked the malls. They were quite spacious (read: gigantinormotastical). And the movies with assigned seating that cost $2.

I liked the pretty flowers and our wonderful helpers and going to the Costco-type warehouse store and the Gingersnaps semiannual sale for the cutest little girl clothes evah.

I liked going to Chili's where half the people on staff knew not only our names but what we usually ordered. And they had valet parking!

I liked people selling goofy stuff in the middle of traffic, like fishing poles and steering wheel covers. And those fake-nose-and-glasses combos.

I loved Christmas in Manila. And the month of January, because it wasn't too hot.

I loved the amazing friends we made there.

Illinois gets pretty lonely sometimes. The winters are chilly (read: arctic), and the water is very hard. (We're renting a water softener to preserve the shiny new dishwasher dear husband installed this weekend.) People don't want to hear about your problems. The typical reaction last September when our basement flooded went something like this: "Your basement flooded? Yeah. So did a lot of other people's." I guess the midwestern mentality of picking yourself up and moving on is totally practical and sturdy and all that. No room for pity parties. It's just that sometimes I want to whine a little before I strap on the Teflon suit and get to work.

One thing I do love: the temp hit around 60 degrees here on Saturday. Glorious!

I'll sign off with a link I found today of a commercial for Fun Ranch, the big kids' complex near our home in the Philippines. Our boys spent 14 hours at the shoot for this commercial, and earned about $45 apiece. They ended up with roughly one second of screen time each. Their American friends from church were in it too. Click the link to play spot the white kids!

Rants, Raves, and Randomness

2009-01-21T19:12:00.004-06:00

Oh, dear. I’m definitely one of those bloggers who vacillates between productive spurts and long, dry spells.

I’ll pick up the ’08 review soon, hopefully, maybe. Honestly I’d rather not relive the first half of the year, but I’ll get to it eventually. *makes shifty eyes*

Rave: My big sister came from Denver to visit for a few days. It was so cool to see her. I drove to Chicago the night before her flight arrived to enjoy a peaceful night at the Hilton. It was heaven. After the airport we hit the Ikea, then talked the whole way back to Peoria. Man, I missed you, Sis! Hope we can do it again soon.

Rant: When I worked at Stampin’ Up! there was a woman who sold homemade brown-sugar scrub. It was divine. I’ve never tried a product since that could even come close. With the cold temps here my skin is like sandpaper, so I’ve tried the Wal-Mart brand of hazelnut scrub, which smells pretty good but doesn’t leave your skin any softer. I tried Bath & Body Works scrub, which works well, but I’m having issues with the scents. The first one I bought, Vanilla Blackberry Jasmine or some such thing, gave me a migraine as soon as I opened it. That went back to the store in a hurry. Next came mandarin lime, which has been the best so far, but it was the last one they had, so when it ran out I bought mint. Big. Mistake. I used some this morning and I smell like menthol shaving cream. It’s squicking me out just sitting here typing. Ugh.

Such problems, right? I’m also searching for a decent lotion that lasts a long time but doesn’t smell weird. Curel is the best I’ve found so far, but the hunt continues for that one perfect product. I never thought I’d miss the suffocating humidity of the Philippines, but the one benefit was perpetually soft skin.

Rave: On Monday the kids went sledding for the first time. (Although I think we took the First-Born sledding pre-Philippines, but that was years ago.) Middle Child had a blast. Completely fearless. Baby Screech…screeched. She is not a cold-weather child, which kind of makes sense considering where she was born. We went with the Johnson family and had a really great time, until the very last run when First-Born and my friend Lori had a spectacular crash with a little boy who crossed in front of them. No broken bones, thank goodness, but Lori got a heck of a shiner.

Random: The boys are into Pokemon and are always talking about powers and abilities and battles. They thought up powers for themselves, though I forget what those are, and then they decided that their baby sister has Screech power. Hence the use of her current nickname, Baby Screech. Never before in the history of the world has there been a more appropriate imaginary power bestowed upon such a deceptively harmless-looking child.

Rant: Our home warranty policy bites the big one. Our dishwasher broke a month ago and after several calls, they finally sent a guy out to take a look. He charged us $95 and told us the hard water basically destroyed the dishwasher. He left and we heard nothing for days. We followed up again last night to find out that sediment build-up isn’t covered.

Aaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhh! Thanks for letting us know, people. And for taking so long to do absolutely nothing except charge us $95.

American Home Shield, I renounce thee! The unhelpful, villainous crooks.

Random: I’m entering two stories in the Highlights Fiction Contest this month. One’s already in the mail; the other will go out this week. It’s not a genre I’m totally comfortable writing. I definitely prefer longer pieces for older readers, but it was good for me to stretch a little. Heck, it was good for me to write, period, since the current work-in-progress has me pulling out clumps of hair.

Random: 30 Rock is a funny, funny show. We caught up on the first two seasons through NetFlix. The Husband tells me that I’m Liz Lemon. Or Tina Fey. Or some cross between the two. Should I be scared that I relate so well to so many of Liz’s dysfunctional traits? Blergh.

Happy Wednesday, World!

August

2009-01-05T22:23:00.005-06:00

We had a busy month. Visited the arch in St. Louis and Navy Pier in Chicago. Had the pleasure of blessing our little girl with all the Hayes siblings in attendance. I saw Wicked; the boys saw a Cardinals game and a Rams game and met SpongeBob at King's Island in Ohio. Oh, and they started school. Whew.

September

2009-01-02T16:25:00.003-06:00

The flooded basement pretty much consumed our attention this month.

Other items of note: Dear Husband's birthday and a nice day trip to Springfield to visit family.

October

2009-01-02T15:51:00.008-06:00

We love, love, love Halloween, and we missed the fall season terribly while living in Manila, so this October was pure magic.

Halloween evening was so warm that our little Dora wore her costume without a coat.

We also managed to squeeze in several birthdays and a preseason Jazz game in Chicago. You just can't beat a month with pumpkins, autumn leaves, and trick-or-treating at houses that give away full-size candy bars.

November

2009-01-01T08:52:00.005-06:00

Survived a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. Took lots and lots of bad photos for my photography class, and even a few ok ones. The highlight: a class field trip to photograph barns at dawn.

Met my father-in-law in Chicago and took the kids to the zoo.

This is the child we nicknamed rhinocerous at birth. (He was extremely tiny, so his daddy picked something big and ferocious.) I couldn't resist this photo with his namesake.

Leaf fight.

December

2009-01-01T08:28:00.003-06:00

Lots of illness this month, but otherwise it was a pretty laid-back holiday season. We weathered our first ice storm and enjoyed a peaceful Christmas day in our new home.

I love this pic (except for the fire coming out of my child's head). The Nintendo DS was a huge hit. Thanks, Santa!

Happy 2009!

2009-01-01T00:03:00.004-06:00

Happy New Year, y'all! I've resolved to do a 2008 year-in-review, complete with pictures, over the next few days. I'll be working backward, since I'm still hunting for my pics from January. Here's a photo to get things started:

The Midwest's Many Moods

2008-12-27T20:07:00.006-06:00

Peoria had torrential rain and temps in the mid 50s today. I don't mind the lack of cold AT ALL, but the contrast with our recent wintry weather is a shock. It reminded me of the ice storm pics I never posted, so here are a few in honor of our newly departed snow:

We Need a Little Christmas

2008-12-18T22:44:00.007-06:00

I'm curled on the couch tonight watching the ice storm outside. It's pretty dark out there, so...not much to see, but I like the feeling of being cozy and warm by the Christmas tree while the weather is being so cross outside.

The kids' school music program was canceled tonight because of the storm, and they may very well miss their day of movies and parties at school tomorrow if the storm is still raging. Poor mites. What am I going to DO with them all day to make up for missing movies and parties with their classmates? Maybe some holiday baking would be good. The kind where I put my OCD fussing about messes on the back burner (hee) and just let the kids go crazy. Of course we're having a church function here at the house tomorrow night, so maybe I don't want to go making even more messes to clean up before company arrives. Guess we'll see what the morning brings.

The Little Princess watched parts of the Nutcracker yesterday and today on TV. After I changed her diaper tonight she refused to put her jeans back on. "Pretty," she announced, meaning she wanted to put on a skirt (that's her term for girly clothes) like the ballerinas. Man, that girl is a dancer and/or musician in the making. It's pretty much a foregone conclusion. Have I mentioned that when I leave the car door open and it makes that prolonged beeping sound, she'll sit in her car seat and hum the exact pitch until I close the door? She's done that with the garbage disposal too (matched the pitch, I mean). She can also play the rhythm to Jingle Bells on the piano while she sings along. She's 26 months old.

Middle Child is worried about whether Santa will make it on Christmas Eve, what with all the bad weather. He's also asked me several times if he's on the "bad" list. Poor guy. I hope he has a sufficiently wide-eyed, magical Christmas morning. He deserves it. Even if his eating habits make me want to pound my head against the wall.

The First-Born is reading the first Harry Potter book. It's like a rite of passage. I can't wait to hear what he thinks. His school reading program rocks. I'm still in awe of the progress he's made in just a few short months.

Hopefully next week will be calm and full of Christmas cheer. The shopping's done, the packages and cards are mailed. Other than the standard baking and wrapping marathon, I think we're in good shape. Dear Husband is off work all next week (theoretically), so that will be a treat.

The past few weeks have not been kind. Mom went into the hospital on Thanksgiving with pneumonia and intense muscle/joint pain (plus some confusion and slurred speech, which was scary). She's home now but still struggling with some of the same issues. The day she came home our house got hit with a violent flu bug. Mom escaped getting sick, thank heaven, but the rest of us took turns with an evil array of symptoms. After that the Husband had to go to India for eight days. Not Mumbai, but still, it was enough to make his nervous wife keep checking the news.

Calm. Christmas cheer. Say it with me. Calm. Christmas cheer. Here's to a peaceful--and magical--holiday season, and an uneventful 2009!

Kid Logic

2008-11-11T10:28:00.002-06:00

The middle child and I had a conversation about boy animals and girl animals at the zoo recently.

I explained to him that animals had boy parts and girl parts, just like people.

"Oh," he said as realization dawned. "You mean like girls have headbands and stuff."

Yes, exactly. :)

I Heart Chicago

2008-11-04T15:25:00.004-06:00

We drove to Chicago again over the weekend. We saw this:

Wood, American Gothic

And this:

Seurat, A Sunday on La Grande Jatte

And this too:

van Gogh, The Poet's Garden

I could have stood and stared at van Gogh's work all day. Many of the paintings were off display due to renovations, but we still saw Pissaros, Monets, Giffords, and a bunch of others I can't think of right now.

Yeah. I know embarassingly little about art. But still--culture! Grown-up time! (Even though the kids were there and quite loud and not even a little bit patient. I'm so used to people staring and/or giving me dirty looks it doesn't even faze me anymore.)

*happy sigh* It was heaven.

Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…and also: Wheeeeeeeeeee!

2008-11-04T14:38:00.004-06:00

We’re wearing coats and socks and sweaters and long sleeves! Though sometimes I forget the socks. Four years in the Philippines is hard to undo.

There are colorful leaves on (and off) the trees. And it’s cold outside. Like chattering teeth and dry skin kind of cold. Well, except for today, and yesterday, and Sunday and Saturday and even Halloween. Our little warm spell is making it hard to hide the fact that I started this blog update a week ago.

Still, it's our first fall since 2004, and it’s fabulous. Gorgeous. So nice to be shivering instead of sweating.

We visited a pumpkin patch with the kids a few weekends back. We bundled up in cozy sweaters and everything. Of course it was 80 degrees that day, but at least the pics of us in our sweaters look fall-appropriate.

The husband and I drove to Chicago on the 18th to watch a preseason Jazz/Bulls game. The seats were tenth row, the closest I’ve ever been to the floor. As a die-hard Jazz fan it felt a little weird to be in enemy territory, but it was still very cool to see a game at the United Center. Plus I’m 90 percent sure I saw Cameron (Alan Ruck) from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off sitting courtside with his kids. He seemed like a great dad. Very cool.

Now that we’re Midwesterners, we’re slowly getting accustomed to rooting for Illinois teams, plus the Cardinals since they’re so close. I’ve been to see Wicked in Chicago and the arch in St. Louis. It’s amazing to live in a completely new part of the country and visit places I’ve never seen before.

Owning cars and a home again has not been pretty. Since June we’ve experienced:

-Flooded basement, not covered by insurance or home warranty. On the upside, we did get to replace the yellow paint and ugly blue carpet down there.
-Broken garage door spring, not covered by home warranty, though we had to pay the warranty-approved garage guy $95 just to come out and tell us it wasn’t covered. The spring was an extra $350.
-Broken pool pump, partially covered by home warranty. Cost of redeeming the disgusting, algae-filled pool: not covered.
-Broken truck (starter)
-Broken car stereo
-Broken laptop
-Broken refrigerator

Add this to all the things we bought for the house when we got here (planned and unplanned), and our savings is gut-churningly small. Scary stuff, considering the state of the economy these days.

But we also have these gorgeous woods behind our house, with wild turkeys and squirrels and all kinds of birds I’ve never seen before. Apparently once the leaves are gone we’ll be more likely to spot deer. It’s a lovely, quiet street. I love that the kids can go out and play all day and be safe and happy. It’s a very good thing for my peace of mind.

The boys love school. It’s great having them in the US school system again. Of course it helps that they both got glowing reviews at their first parent/teacher conferences. \0/ Kid #1 even made the honor roll.

I’m taking a photography class at the local art guild. It’s fabulous, and something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. I’ve got this great camera the dear husband bought me for Christmas last year and I’ve been too afraid to use anything other than the auto feature. I’m about two years behind on photos, so scrapbooking is probably a thing of the past. I’ve scrapbooked each of the kids’ first years, basically, so that’s good enough for now. I’m stuck with a ton of supplies though. And I love buying supplies, I do, I do! Guess that’s part of the problem.

I can’t wait to take pictures of the kids when we get our first snowfall.

What I miss about Manila (because I have days when I do, weirdly enough):

Lucy
Myrna
Odie
Our neighbors, the Ross family
Garrett and Kelly, even though they had already moved to China. At least they were CLOSER than they are now.
Our favorite mall/restaurant hangouts
Cheap kid clothes

Every once in a while I’ll have a nightmare where we didn’t get out of Manila and we still have a ton of paperwork for the adoption, and I’m running around yelling at people and freaking out. I think it’s the new version of that old dream where it’s the end of the semester and I have a math final and haven’t gone to class all year. The other twist is the one where I’m in a play on opening day and don’t know my lines. I’m afraid the books on dream interpretation wouldn’t have good things to say about how this reflects on my state of mind and/or organizational skills.

Lastly: The writing is slow, slow going. For goodness’ sake, I’m just now getting around to updating my blog after five months. I’m still working on my most recent YA story a few times a week. Maybe when I finally manage a first draft I’ll allow myself back on the writing message boards. At the moment I’m in no state to handle other people’s writing success. (It’s petty, I know, but all too true!)

With a Grateful Heart

2008-06-03T06:11:00.003-05:00

This month has been pure, concentrated stress on a level I can barely comprehend.

But about a week ago, because of a speaking assignment at church, I relearned what it means to have hope. And today, while calling on every ounce of faith we could muster, we witnessed a triumph over government bureaucracy that was nothing short of miraculous.

We have plane tickets to fly home June 6. We're signing the papers on our new house June 9 (also the day dear husband starts his new position at work). We received the final court document for the adoption on May 20. Since then we've obtained a Certificate of Registration from Pasig City Hall, an annotated birth certificate from Quezon City Civil Registry, an amended birth certificate issued by the National Statistics Office, and an approved I-600 form from the American embassy.

The movers were at the house last Wednesday from 8 am to 11 pm while dear husband was in China (and while mucho birth certificate and other assorted drama was taking place). We lugged ten suitcases to the temporary apartment that night and got settled in. The movers came back Thursday to finish the job they didn't finish on Wednesday (after I took a half-day side trip Thursday am to the embassy to turn in documents). The husband got home about 1 am Friday morning; we spent Friday at the Department of Social Welfare and Development and then the US embassy again, then waited around for a passport interview that never took place.

Sunday: church; mega internet research on US IR3 visa process; internet cafe to print applications; photo place for new visa photos for the baby; paperwork bonanza
Monday: back to the US embassy to turn in appeal letter for early visa appointment; we're informed the process normally takes three months; rest of the day is spent wailing and gnashing teeth and making backup plans
Today: 6 am to 4 pm spent at Department of Foreign Affairs with some incredibly helpful people who waited and ran around and made calls and got signatures until eventually we got someone to promise us a passport by tomorrow at lunchtime. HALLELUJAH!!!!!! In the middle of this we get a call from the embassy promising a 7 am visa appointment on Thursday (an appointment we wouldn't be able to keep without the passport, so HALLELUJAH!!!!!!).

A great deal of praying took place today. We are incredibly humbled and grateful and still in shock that it looks like we'll make our Friday flight.

Tomorrow: after we pick up the appointment letter from the embassy and the passport from DFA we have to take the baby for a medical exam in preparation for the visa interview (something else we couldn't do without the passport). Then dear husband has a dentist appointment at 5 pm because he broke a crown eating duck tongue or some such thing in China.

Thursday: Visa appt. 7 am. With any luck they'll approve and stamp it the same day, and then we can go back to the apartment, pack our strewn belongings, and head to the airport at 4 am the next day.

Once we hit Utah we'll grab some sleep then pick up our van and drive to Illinois. Dear husband's fabulous family has already cleared out our storage unit (thank you x a million; we love you!) and loaded our stuff in my dad's semi trailer, which he'll be driving out when he gets another delivery in the area.

So many people have helped us make this happen. The only way I can even dream of making it right is by paying it forward, and by making sure my faith never falters again.

There's a line in one of my favorite movies, While You Were Sleeping, where Dad Callahan says something like, "You work hard, you struggle, face your trials, etc., and for one moment, everything's right, everyone's happy." Then Jack, breaking the news about wanting his own business says, "This is not that moment." Or something.

It's not just that I'm afraid to be happy about all this, even though I am a little afraid. It's not that once we get home we face making new friends, settling in, starting over. The potential there actually has me excited. It's the news we received a few hours ago: our yaya (nanny) had a great job lined up after we leave, but after a medical exam found out she has primary complex (a noncontagious tb infection of the lungs). Today her employer withdrew the job offer and she now has no way to support her family. :( Aw, man. She so does not deserve this. We're currently brainstorming ideas on how to make this right.

Someday we'll have time to take a breath and have our peaceful moment. Until then, we have hope, and gratitude, to carry us through.

Guh

2008-05-06T01:41:00.003-05:00

Where I am:

Where I want to be:

Holy Guacamole!

2008-04-29T03:43:00.004-05:00

She's ours. It's done. We have the official adoption decision in our hands, and it feels amazing.

Now there are only about sixty bazillion little pieces that have to fall into place in order for us to all fly home together June 6 (embassy form submission and approval, visa appointment and approval, medical exam, certificate of finality from the courthouse, filing with two separate civil registry offices, amended birth certificate, and passport).

After the last two years of paperwork? We can do this blindfolded, underwater, standing on our heads. As long as I don't smack somebody first.

Oh, and we bought a house in Washington, Illinois. (Always with the paperwork!) It's gorgeous and I can't wait to get my hands on it. Well, for the decorating part. The cleaning part, not so much.

*claps hands and is giddy*

Yay for the good old US of A. Our current image of perfection is a backyard barbecue on the Fourth of July, lighting sparklers with the kiddos, with Ray Charles's America the Beautiful on the iPod.

Eyes on the prize, baby.

Yikes

2008-04-24T07:11:00.003-05:00

I had a boss a few years back who HATED creative spellings, like Quik-E-Mart, Skool Dayz, etc. This one's for you, Ann:

Things Kids Say, Revisited

2008-04-24T06:45:00.004-05:00

"If only we had travel tubes, you could go anywhere you want in the world if you just press a button. There would be these buttons surrounding you, even on the door, and you would be able to get anywhere you want in a few seconds. It's like an airplane but shorter. It's like a glass but a lot bigger. I would go to my friend's [house] and I could just like travel right to their front door and then the tube would go back to its place."

Sounds awesome. Beats airline food any day of the week.

Things Kids Say

2008-04-23T21:17:00.000-05:00

Here's a sampling of random stuff my kids said yesterday:

"I wish I was an All-Star so I could teleport."

"If I was an All-Star I'd have a sensor that would find animals that didn't have a home and I could take care of them. I'd keep them in my underground command center where it's nice and warm so they could sleep."

"I just saw one piece of water come down from the sky."

"I'm going to be a plane that talks."

"She's a queen. All that's missing is a crown. And a dress. And a castle. And a country. And knights and armor and stuff."

This is gold. I gotta do this more often.

Clearing the Clutter

2008-03-30T20:38:00.004-05:00

Hooray for garage sales! We cleared out a ton of stuff, and made about twice as much as expected. Things that did not sell:

-3 child car seats
-A huge pile of paperback books
-2 paintings

There are no laws requiring child safety seats here (or if there are nobody follows them), so no big surprise there.

The books--again, not a surprise. As a rule, you're more likely to see people reading fashion magazines (my Oprah magazines sold like hotcakes). There are many good reasons for this, including the cost of books and the language issue, and some not-so-good reasons, like Manila's incredibly pervasive fashionista fetish. It still makes me sad. Even though I like saying "fashionista fetish."

Flowers of the Philippines

2008-03-28T06:54:00.005-05:00

I had this great idea to take pictures of all the gorgeous flowers in our neighborhood and post them online so that during the cold winter months I could look back and remember with fondness the tropical beauty of the yadda, yadda, yadda...

Ok, so I took two whole pictures. But still. Two is more than zero. So...mission accomplished!

Playing Catch-up

2008-03-28T06:15:00.004-05:00

So. Peoria, Illinois will be our new home in just over two months. After so many months of not knowing, and another month or so of getting used to the idea, I'm finally excited. House hunting online isn't the ideal, but it has its charms.

Garage sale tomorrow. Quotes from international shippers pending. Final adoption paperwork still MIA.

Summer's here, and it is HOT. The kids are out of school until September. Ack! Thank heaven for the neighbor kids and the pool.

So before we can turn in our I-600 form to the embassy to start the visa application process, we have to have ANOTHER home study report done. Number four. We actually found out about this last month and I'm just cooling down enough to write about it. It has to be from a US-accredited agency and completed within the last six months. Can I just say, "AAAAUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!"? More physicals, more applications to fill out (16 pages this time, per parent), more letters of recommendation, another home visit, lots of photocopies, and another $500. Phooey. Luckily all we have left to do is the physicals. Meanwhile the decree could come through any day--or it could take another two months. After that:

-amended birth certificate
-Filipino passport
-physical and immigration appointment for the baby

Citizenship gets taken care of once we're home, and I have a feeling that compared to this, it will seem like a cakewalk. And then we're going to have the party to end all parties, even if it's just ourselves and some loud music and lots of junk food, since we know exactly zero people in Peoria, Illinois.

Weekend Update

2008-02-22T07:04:00.005-06:00

So today I hear my five-year-old tell his brother: "Don't tell me what to do!"

This is definitely a kid who likes to blaze his own trail. Should I be worried?

I think maybe I should be worried.

Adoption News:

We went to the US Embassy Wednesday to file our I-600 form, declaring our adoptive daughter as a dependent. We were hoping they'd accept it for preapproval, even without the Adoption Decree in hand. No luck. The guy gave us a phone number for an immigration specialist at the embassy, told us to make an appointment if we needed more info.

We needed more info. We retrieved our cell phones (they're not allowed inside), went outdoors, and called the number. The woman asked a ton of questions: what documents did we have, what agency did we use, etc. etc. Finally she tells us to come back inside and she'll meet with us. Long story short, she took our fingerprints and documents and told us she'd get the ball rolling while we wait for the Decree. We were petrified that the immigration end of things could potentially take months, but we learned that after we hand in the Decree the approval could be a matter of a few short weeks. So the day was not wasted.

We attended our second court hearing on Thursday. We were last on the docket and had settled in to wait out all the other cases, but the judge sent us straight to the stenographer, who took the statement of the court social worker. We were home by 10 am. The bad news: they set another hearing date for March 27, where the prosecutor would be given a chance to present any appeals before the decision was handed down. After that, it would take 30 to 90 days for the Decree to be issued. Yikes. Our plans to be home by June 1 flew right out the window.

Luckily our attorney is made of awesome. We paid extra for her to rush her pending submission of the final court documents; paid the stenographer extra to rush the transcripts; paid a courier to hand-deliver all pertinent documents to wherever they're supposed to go, and were able to score a revised court date of March 13. Yet another sign that Someone's looking out for us and/or wants us home. Now if we can get the Decree in 30 days instead of 90, we'll be happy campers.

The hard lesson we've learned in all this is not to take no for an answer. Or rather to ask the question, "What else can we try?" I've been amazed that more often than not, when you push just enough without actually being pushy, you quite often get results. This does not come naturally to me, at all. At least it didn't used to. Not sure yet if this is a skill I'm proud of.

We're nearly there. Praise the Lord, we're nearly there.

Staring Contest

2008-02-15T07:02:00.002-06:00

Thought this pic from the local outdoor market turned out pretty cool. Wanted to share.

Good for the Soul, Bad for the Diet

2008-02-13T01:02:00.006-06:00

We had a great visit with Dad and his wife this week. It was cool to revisit a few of our favorite tourist spots. The kids basked in the extra attention. And I got to reconnect with my dad, to talk about life and politics and other grown-up stuff.

And I have to say, my dad's a pretty hip guy: cargo pants, a Palm Pilot and digital camera--and of course the willingness to fly halfway around the world. Very cool. I'm pretty sure an MP3 player is in the near future. (Let me know when you're ready for iTunes, Dad. It'll knock your socks off.)

Plus we ate out a lot and I didn't exercise. So...bonus! Or not, since now I have to work twice as hard before our trip to China next month. Blah. If I collapse climbing the steps to the Great Wall, at least it'll be kind of a cool place to bite the big one.

A few pics from our visit to Intramuros:

Of Lights and Tunnels

2008-02-01T04:02:00.000-06:00

Our day in court was...a miracle.

1) The judge was friendly and in good humor. 2) The prosecutor had some connection to our lawyer's husband through his family in the Province. 3) We were the first case of the day. 4) The judge said something about adoption being a great thing and not wanting to stand in the way of adoptive parents and their child. 5) He allowed us to give testimony and be cross-examined in front of the court stenographer in a separate room. We went in that morning fearing that neither of us would be allowed to testify due to time constraints, that we'd have to wait several weeks for another hearing for Bryce's testimony, and several weeks after that for mine.

The court social worker will give her statement Feb. 21. Then it's a matter of waiting for the court to hand down the adoption decree, probably sometime in April.

Boo-yah!

Of course we still have to work with immigration and the US Embassy to get all the travel papers in place, but it finally feels like there's an end in sight.

Say it with me: Boo-yah!

If all goes according to plan, we'll be on our way home June 1.

Now that I'm not so preoccupied with all the what ifs, I feel like reading books again, like writing again. I grabbed my tattered copy of One Man's Meat to ease myself back into the reading scene with a few of E.B. White's incredible essays.

Here's my (his) gem of the day:

"The intellectual who simply says 'I am a writer,' and forthwith closets himself with a sharp pencil and a dull Muse, may well turn out to be no artist at all but merely an ambitious and perhaps misguided person. I think the best writing is often done by persons who are snatching the time from something else--from an occupation, or from a profession, or from a jail term--something that is either burning them up, as religion, or love, or politics, or that is boring them to tears, as prison, or a brokerage house, or an advertising firm. A great violinist must begin fairly early in life to play the violin; but I think a literary artist has a better chance of producing something great if he spends the first forty years of his life doing something else--grinding a lens or surveying a wilderness."

Putting mechanics aside, as well as the fact that great writing is often hard-won and develops only after years of mediocre writing (in other words, you have to work at it), I kind of agree with him. And not just because it's likely I won't be published before I turn 40. :) I like the idea of perspective, of bringing decades of life to the table and digging deep to put the relevant pieces of that life down on the stark, empty page.

At 20 I thought I was pretty good at the writing thing. At 30 I thought I had it down cold. Only now, halfway to 40, have I taken to heart that humbling truth that the more I learn, the less I know.

But I also feel a comfort with my own voice, both as a person and as a writer, that I've never known before. Dare I call it maturity? It's a knowlege of what drives me, of what I feel passionate about. It's a deeper understanding of pain and joy. It's a willingness to place less importance on the opinions of others, and an ability to discern--and take to heart--the voices that truly matter.

My Brain Is Full

2008-01-28T01:24:00.000-06:00

You ever get that weight that settles down around you, like something significant is about to happen? It's like sitting poised on a sled at the top of an icy hill. It's like someone reaching toward you with a quilt in her arms--and not knowing if she's going to cradle you or smother you.

Our adoption hearing is three days away. I guess in this case we know something significant's about to happen.

We'll most likely have a few more hearings after this one, but there's also a chance the judge will have mercy and get things over quickly. How soon we move back home hinges on this court date. It feels like we've spent our whole lives leading up to this one point in time. I'm just hoping that Thursday will feel like a step forward, after standing still for so long.

It's not just the hearing on my mind this week. My mom's health is not good. Worse than usual, actually. I hate being so far away and unable to help.

My father-in-law got a concussion working in the yard this weekend. Apparently he went inside after and went to sleep, then later woke up with double vision and drove himself to the ER without alerting his wife or any of his kids. On the way home from the hospital he went to the store. Just another typical day in the Hayes family.

My younger son told me the other day I'm not allowed to call him "Baby" anymore. Sheesh. Kick a girl while she's down, why don't you?

President Gordon B. Hinckley passed away Sunday evening. He was an amazing man. His wit and wisdom deeply impacted my spiritual growth, just as his life and service touched millions across the globe. He will be missed.

And just to keep things interesting: my dad and his wife are coming to the Philippines next week. (This is actually a good thing. Just...Dad? While you're here? I'm 35. I always carry emergency money and lock my doors at night. Come. Relax. Have fun. Enough said.)

Change is in the wind.

And since I'm all about the metaphors and the purple prose: I'm hoping as I sit here at the top of this hill that my sled is the kind with runners and a way to steer, and plenty of room for a passenger. Forget the goofy plastic disk with the flimsy yellow handles. Ditto on the overstuffed inner tube with the poky metal arm that jabs you in the butt; those things toss you off at the first hint of trouble. And don't get me started on the drawbacks of cafeteria trays...

Okay, now I'm just missing the cold weather and getting all maudlin about childhood snow days.

Shutting up.

Insensitive Clod for 1000, Alex

2008-01-22T02:49:00.000-06:00

A few days ago I would have described myself as culturally aware. Insightful. Definitely not awkward, insensitive clod.

Then we had a nice Indian family over for dinner--my husband's co-worker plus the man's wife and daughter--and I made a total idiot of myself, exclaiming "Holy cow!" halfway through dessert when I saw the crumbling mess Son #2 had made of his cake.

*facepalms*

I think only the wife heard me, and she was kind enough to pretend she didn't notice. I still wished the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

They've promised to host the next dinner, complete with homemade, authentic Indian cuisine. That's a good sign I didn't scare them away, I guess.

I plan to make sure I'm too busy eating to say anything incriminating.

One Last Holiday Hurrah

2008-01-14T02:26:00.000-06:00

The malls do an amazing job with holiday decorations here. I never quite got around to posting this last month, but I was so impressed with this mall in particular (the Podium in Ortigas) that I had to share:

The Reset Button

2008-01-14T01:26:00.000-06:00

I figured I'd better write something to keep my average above one post per month.

Sigh. I had such great plans for the New Year. Yet here I am mid-month, all those good intentions nothing more than a list I made and stuck in a drawer somewhere.

I blame it on that huge red Reset Button (which was pushed against my will, I might add). You know the one where life throws huge, uncomfortable changes at you, new problems and plot twists to throw you off your game, and you adjust, realign, make peace with How Things Are Now, and even manage to make wonderful new friends, amazing friends, and then THEY MOVE AWAY. To CHINA.

I feel like I'm eleven years old, looking out the back window of the car as we drive away from my childhood home to start a new life somewhere else. It STINKS.

Now that I've had my tantrum...

Yes, our most wonderful friends the Openshaws have moved to China. We went to Singapore together, shared Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, went to movies together and played goofy board games and generally commisserated about life here in this weird, weird place. Now we're left behind in the Philippines waiting for the glacially slow adoption process to be finalized before we can figure out where to go from here, and when. The lawyer says plan for June or July. We were hoping for April. And some dark, ominous murmur deep in my gut says it will never be over.

So I blame my lack of productivity on dragging my shredded resolve back together one more time, hitting Reset and gearing up for this final stretch of our time overseas. I have to keep reminding myself that there are lots of good things about being here, that ultimately we're happy, we're blessed, we have our little girl already and are just waiting for it to be official.

Plus there are things to look forward to: the court hearing at the end of January, my dad's visit in February, and a trip to China in March. And if any more Reset Buttons rear their ugly heads in the meantime, I'm slowly learning that instead of reaching for the Self-Destruct I can grab the controls and pull up, dang it, pull up, right out of that tailspin and into the great beyond.

Pocoyo!

2008-01-02T09:41:00.000-06:00

As a parent, I've suffered through a lot of terrible children's television.

As someone with an avid interest in children's literature--and, by extension, children's entertainment in general--I get excited when I find a true gem, a show that gets it right in every way possible:

Pocoyo!

It's adorable. It's simple, colorful, playful. Sly. Funny. Gentle. Incredibly original. From the music to the characters' facial expressions and body language...sigh. Masterful. It's never didactic, and it frequently makes me laugh out loud. The web site's nice too (http://www.pocoyo.com/).

Go. Go watch this with your kids, or on your own. It's comforting to see stuff of this quality on the air for the little ones.

Oh, and another great show for guaranteed giggles: Shaun the Sheep. The lettuce-as-soccer-ball episode gets me every time.

Back in the Groove

2007-12-23T02:34:00.000-06:00

The bummer about being sick--other than the sick part--is losing my groove: the feeling normal and/or productive groove, the parenting groove, the errands groove and exercise groove and writing groove. By default, grooves that fall a lot further down the list, like the blogging groove, remain AWOL long after I get better.

But there are good things about being sick, such as:

-The glorious feeling of being well again;

-Sympathy presents from your spouse--namely, a nine-foot Christmas tree that fills our front room with majestic, twinkling splendor. And if that sounds overblown, then I'm not even close to doing it the justice it deserves. I love, love, love it.

In other news, now that the kids are on school break we've been looking for things to do. Five minutes from the house is a new little zoo shaped like a life-size reproduction of Noah's Ark. They have tigers, monkeys, birds, a petting zoo, a crocodile, lizards, and...

an orangutan!

I think the kids were there too, and I'm pretty sure I got cute pictures of them with bunnies and stuff, but this is the part I'll never forget. Just...wow. It was awesome. One of the coolest things I've ever experienced.

I might have to go back again next week.

Road Trip

2007-11-16T07:45:00.000-06:00

We went for a Sunday drive a few weeks back to escape the city. We made a huge loop, going east and then south through the mountains and skirting a lake called Laguna de Bay, returning to Manila via the SLEX, or South Luzon Expressway.

After six hours we were awfully tired of the car. But the mountain air and the constant sea of green made it all worthwhile. Along the side of the road you could buy coconuts, wicker furniture--even Christmas decorations.

The view:

These cuties were selling quail eggs when we stopped at a lookout point to take pictures:

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

2007-11-08T07:36:00.000-06:00

Question (thanks, Angela!): How come it's common practice not to talk to your neighbors [in the Philippines]?

Answer: I have no idea! We tried introducing ourselves/engaging in small talk a couple of times, especially when a new family moved in across the street. It was perfectly friendly, but did nothing to establish any sort of neighborly relationship. People still prefer to stay within their enclosed spaces. Most of them honk their car horns when they come home, wait for their domestic help to open their huge front gates, then pull into their driveways while the gates are closed behind them. Gives you warm fuzzies, no?

Last month the Vice President of the Philippines attended a party a few houses down from ours. Apparently there were security personnel swarming all over the place. I heard about it second-hand, though, since I was tucked safely away within our own little walled fortress and had no idea anything was going on.

In contrast, the people you do see on a regular basis are the domestic workers. They're out walking dogs, gardening, tending children, or chatting with each other. They smile frequently and some of them are on friendly terms with our kids.

The antisocial stuff is obviously a learned behavior of people with money here, whether it's a matter of security, privacy, or just plain being uppity (or maybe some combination of those). It's all about perspective, I guess. Compared to the circumstances in which most Filipinos live, our way of life is wasteful in the extreme. Yes, the company pays our rent, and it's an amazing perk, and more house than we could ever afford on our own. Yet it's not so different from the standard of living we're used to in the US. But to those outside the village walls, it might as well be the moon.

Tricks and Treats

2007-11-04T09:51:00.001-06:00

Halloween in the Philippines is hilarious, and slightly surreal.

Trick-or-treating does take place, in a weird sort of way. Many of the malls and businesses sponsor trick-or-treat events, usually a few days before the actual holiday. But the house-to-house routine really only happens inside the villages.

A village is a community of very large houses surrounded by a ginormous barbed-wire, cinder-block wall and a gate with guards. There are at least a dozen villages just within our little corner of Metro Manila. The villages are home to politicians, diplomats, executives--and foreigners with expat packages. Each individual house is surrounded by its own wall and gate. You interact with your neighbors as little as possible. The only family within our village we speak to and see on a regular basis is the American family down the street.

So. On Halloween each village opens its doors to trick-or-treaters from all walks of life, regardless of race, economic status, age, or the presence of a costume. Our village cheated and did this three days early. But the village down the street, where our good friends the Openshaws live, waited for the 31st and we were all about getting the authentic experience. Except not cold, dark, or spooky. We settled for hot and humid, and controlled chaos. And a marching band.
It works like this: The home owners (those who participate) send their house help to stand outside the gate with a basket or sit at a table and pass out treats. No Snickers or Reeses or Skittles or even Tootsie Rolls or Dum-Dum pops, unfortunately. Imported candy is expensive here, it melts, and there are HUNDREDS of trick-or-treaters, at least half of them well past puberty. Instead they pass out local treats: little bags of chips or hard candies or wafer cookies or whatever. All KINDS of strange stuff. Tiny cups of gelatin (very popular here), gummies--even something called Totoy Tongniks Crunchy Corniks (garlic flavor). It's a plus for our kids, though. Keeps Mom and Dad from raiding their stash.

The marching band

We had a blast. The atmosphere was festive. Giddy, even. I couldn't keep up with the eight-year-old. The five-year-old's feet got tired. The one-year-old was done after a couple of houses. But they looked so cute! And they got something so far and yet still so very close to the authentic experience. (Mom and Dad even got chili and hoagies at the Openshaws afterward.) Next Halloween when we've moved home and the kids are complaining about the cold, I can pull out these pictures and remind them of the trippy, tropical Halloweens half a world away.

Kellie, Amaya, and Avery

Our Birthday Girl

2007-10-27T09:48:00.002-05:00

Our little girl turned one this week. We're still pinching ourselves, trying to figure out how the year zoomed by without our permission.

She wasn't too into the cake, though in fairness it was past her bedtime. I was expecting a lot more mess.

I had fun buying girl presents. I've been waiting 25 years to buy a Cabbage Patch doll. The Barbie Dream House and Easy Bake Oven will have to wait a little longer.

Happy Birthday, Princess!

No Safe Place

2007-10-20T02:57:00.000-05:00

This is the mall where we took our kids to see Thomas the Tank Engine not so long ago. The mall where the boys have gotten their hair cut at the kids' salon, where we've seen movies and eaten at restaurants and attended birthday parties.

Nine dead, more than 100 injured.

No one has claimed responsibility for the bomb yet. Police say it could be a precursor to a larger attack.

It's not a mall we visit frequently. But it hits way, way too close to home. And I don't want to leave the house.

Pumpkins!

2007-10-10T02:50:00.000-05:00

This will be our fourth Halloween overseas. Sadly, the first three were jack-o-lantern free. You just don't find pumpkins in the Philippines.

But lo and behold, what did we find at the store today? Actual pumpkins imported from the US! They were puny and a little deformed and there weren't very many, but...PUMPKINS! I did a happy dance right there in the store.

It's been a good day. I got up early (for me) to pick up a document for the adoption, and things have been going swimmingly ever since. The line at city hall was short, and no one tried to charge me more than the actual fee, and a couple of guys behind the counter actually FLIRTED with me. I nearly dropped dead of shock right then and there. Dear husband gets flirted with on a regular basis, because that's just the way things work here. For me it took 3 1/2 years.

So between the pumpkins and the flirting and the short lines, life just doesn't get much better.

Oh, and an update on our rat problem:

Rat 4, People 0

We're dealing with one cunning rat. I wanted to avoid poison if at all possible, so we tried a cage-type trap. Result: food gone, no rat. Twice.

Plan B: We picked up a few of the traditional mouse traps (industrial sized) and baited them with cheese and Chips Ahoy. Twice more: food gone, no rat. Grrrrrr.

Tonight we break out the poisoned rat treats. Sorry, Mr. Fluffybuns. It's us or you.

A Matter of Perspective

2007-10-08T10:29:00.000-05:00

If all goes well, our adoption petition will go to the courts this week. It's been a long road, with its share of setbacks and heartache. But the joy of having our daughter with us throughout the process has made it worth every moment. We've learned a lot. We're stronger and hopefully wiser than when we started. We've nearly cleared that final hurdle, though a court date could still be several months away.

And now we wonder what the future holds. Will love and honesty be enough? What questions will she ask when she's older? What issues will she face as an adopted child? How will we handle those who are curious, or prejudiced, or misinformed?

Already we've had plenty of practice with the well-meaning but misguided, "Isn't she a lucky girl?"

That's an easy one. We let them know that we're the lucky ones. And we'll let our daughter know it too, every single day.

Sad but True

2007-10-05T10:29:00.000-05:00

I'm reading Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird this week. Here's a quote from the introduction:

"My writer friends, and they are legion, do not go around beaming with quiet feelings of contentment. Most of them go around with haunted, abused, surprised looks on their faces, like lab dogs on whom very personal deodorant sprays have been tested."

This book is laugh-out-loud funny. The conversations in her head sound a lot like the ones in my head. It's good to know there are other mentally unstable writers out there who still manage to live productive lives.

Ant Warfare

2007-10-01T09:16:00.000-05:00

I've blogged about bugs before. It's a topic worth revisiting. Because they just keep coming back.

Forget A Bug's Life. Forget the gentle, heroic ant in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. (How old am I?) Pay no attention to that catchy little song The Ants Go Marching.

Ants are evil.

They launched a full assault on the house today.

It's the rainy season, and for some odd reason the ants all want to come inside. They're not even after the food. If they find food, they eat it, but mostly they were just wandering around today making my life miserable. There were hundreds of them swarming around the front door, and from there they split off into a dozen strategic directions. They ambled across the marble floor in the living room, where our baby daughter spends a great deal of time crawling around. They surged through a crack in the kitchen window and set about exploring the sinks, countertops, walls, and cupboards. They had even built a network of roads where the walls meet the ceiling, with steady traffic traversing THE ENTIRE CIRCUMFERENCE OF THE--wait, can a rectangular room have a circumference? Sorry--THE ENTIRE PERIMETER OF THE KITCHEN.

I had no choice but to bring out the big guns: Baygon (the Philippines equivalent of Raid) and Lysol.

The battle is over, but the war will continue.

I also have a bone to pick with those loveable rodents of Ratatouille. Just after battling the ants I walked outside to see an enormously obese rat waddle past.

Let's just hope he doesn't have a friend named Remy.

What's In Your Backpack?

2007-09-29T22:36:00.000-05:00

My boys cart their favorite toys all over the house. Sometimes they use backpacks, other times baskets or cardboard boxes. They carry toy cars, stuffed animals, plastic spy gear, action figures, and bits of found objects like coins and golf tees and broken crayons. These are their most cherished possessions, things they take in the bathtub and while riding in the car. They fall asleep at night surrounded by their stuff.

It makes me wonder what I would put in my backpack or basket or cardboard box. If I had to choose the things I couldn't live without, things I would want if stranded on a desert island or in the middle of a traffic jam, what would they be?

Laptop (so long as the island/traffic jam has WiFi and electricity)
Family pictures (on the laptop)
Notebooks and pencils
Books
iPod (same electricity provision applies)
Claritin and Kleenex (says the eternal allergy sufferer)
Midnight Milky Way bars
Bloom lip gloss
A camera
Pepsi with ice
24-hour access to take-out from Prince of Jaipur (our favorite Indian restaurant)
A horse
A piano

All right, some of those are disqualified, darn it. I guess you just can't fit everything in a backpack.

That Daniel Powter Song

2007-09-26T10:42:00.000-05:00

[cue the song about the bad day]

You drop your spoon on the floor at breakfast and then you step in a puddle in your socks and pretty soon it feels like the world is mocking you, its cruel laughter following you from room to room. You snap at your kids for no reason; your unmet goals become laughable pipe dreams. You fail to do anything productive before lunchtime and suddenly you've forever marred any chance of a happy life. Your entire future crumbles down around your ears, all because you dropped your spoon (or stubbed your toe, or ran out of Cheerios, or broke your favorite bottle of nail polish).

That was me today. (I made some of it up, but you get the idea.) I'm still in desperate need of some happy quotes. So here we go:

[cue Don't Stop Believin' by Journey]

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -Eleanor Roosevelt

[cue any Yanni song]

"You wake up in the morning, and lo! your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of the magic tissue of the universe of your life. No one can take it from you. No one receives either more or less than you receive. Waste your infinitely precious commodity as much as you will, and the supply will never be withheld from you. Moreover, you cannot draw on the future. Impossible to get into debt. You can only waste the passing movements. You cannot waste tomorrow. It is kept for you." -Arnold Bennett

Looking forward to some new, unused magic tissue when I get up in the morning.

Essays and Old Friends

2007-09-20T04:36:00.000-05:00

While E.B. White is probably best known for Charlotte's Web and The Elements of Style, I have fallen in love with his essays and find myself returning to them again and again. It's like visiting an old friend.

In the Foreword of Essays of E.B. White he writes:

"The essayist is a self-liberated man, sustained by the childish belief that everything he thinks about, everything that happens to him, is of general interest." [Much like a blogger.] "...Each new excursion of the essayist, each new 'attempt,' differs from the last and takes him into new country. This delights him. Only a person who is congenitally self-centered has the effrontery and the stamina to write essays."

White's quiet humor and keen observations frequently amaze me. He wrote for The New Yorker and Harper's Magazine, published a stack of books, and won an impressive list of awards, including the National Medal for Literature.

His citation for the Gold Medal for Essays and Criticism from the American Academy of Arts and Letters says this: "...When he writes of large subjects he does not make them larger and windier than they are, and when he writes of small things they are never insignificant."

When I grow up, I want to be E.B. White.

Maligayang Pasko

2007-09-18T08:53:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas from the Philippines! Whaddaya mean it's only September? I'm nearly a month behind on my celebrating, judging by when I heard my first Christmas carol at the grocery store.

The Philippines has the longest Christmas season on the planet. Fake pine trees start appearing in the stores Sept. 1 (though as stated above, the music started even earlier this year).

I kind of like it.

This is a shopaholic country to begin with, but when the Christmas season hits, look out! The malls go all out with decorations and snarled traffic to match. Tiangges, or bazaars, spring up everywhere. Makeshift booths line the side of the road, selling a crazy, blinking menagerie of capiz lanterns and rope-light creations shaped like Santa and other Christmas characters.

My favorite Filipino decoration is the parol (pictured). Made from bamboo sticks and colored plastic sheeting, these 3D versions of the Bethlehem star come in all sizes and are a common sight at Christmastime. They look stunning hanging from tall trees, backlit with clear, twinkling lights.

So call me crazy if I lug out the decorations well before Thanksgiving. If I can't have snow, at least I can have my four-month long Filipino Christmas.

Stomping Grounds, Part 3

2007-09-16T08:56:00.000-05:00

And now to the Utah segment of our trip to the States, where I:

Met a new nephew
Burst into tears at a small-town parade (homesickness and/or hormones, I suppose)
Nearly flung my mother-in-law off the back of a four wheeler
Careened down a mountain on a luge at Olympic Park

We had a blast. Exhibits A through F:

Whose Line Is it Anyway?

2007-09-14T08:37:00.000-05:00

I used to hate waiting in line. You shift your feet. You wish for a place to sit, or something to lean against. You wonder why the goofball at the front of the line is taking so long. You avoid eye contact with the other people in line. You make small talk with the other people in line when the goofball at the front takes another ten minutes. You rage at the cashier/teller/ticket taker and every other person in the vicinity for wasting your time, for being so slow, for not opening a brand-new line just for you.

But after living in the Philippines, I've decided that lines are my friend. I miss them. I want them back. I crave orderly conduct and respect for personal space.

I went to the bank today. For an hour and a half.

They don't have lines here so much as blobs. Blobs of people who swarm around a counter until they catch someone's eye. But if there is a line, you never make the mistake of leaving a few inches between you and the next person. That's like standing on a chair and screaming into a megaphone: "Wow! Unoccupied space, here for the taking! Act now! I'm not really in line; I'm just here to raise my blood pressure!"

You get used to it eventually. After you move past the disbelief, the shock of violation to your sense of fair play, you swap your good manners for pure survival instinct. No more polite, "After you." No more hanging back until you can distinguish a clear pattern among the blob. Charge right into the fray. Snuggle up to the person in front of you and get cozy for the duration. Demand the attention of the customer service individual.

Walk right into that bank, shoulder your way past the milling crowd, and plop yourself down at the service desk to process your twice monthly transfers.

And bring a book. Because getting to the front of the line is only Lesson One.

Lesson Two: Waiting patiently while something that should take five minutes actually takes an hour and a half.

Sittin', Waitin', Wishin'

2007-09-11T06:53:00.000-05:00

Some days I wonder if I will spend my entire life waiting. Waiting in traffic, waiting in line, waiting for the adoption to come through, waiting to know which US city we'll be moving to (and when), waiting for agent news, waiting for Son #2 to outgrow his whiny phase, waiting for the motivation to exercise and the inspiration to write more and the courage to live without doubt.

Oh, and while I'm wishing for impossible things, how about a little world peace?

Do we ever stop looking forward to the Next Big Thing? Even as kids we count down the hours to birthdays, holidays, school ending, school beginning, first date, first car, first kiss. I have to keep reminding myself (to borrow words from the Red Hot Chili Peppers) that "this life is more than just a read through." That I should value the moment, embrace the here and now.

So, some things to be grateful for:

Honest lawyers. We found an excellent attorney to help us through the next stage of the adoption. She's a Harvard Law grad and teaches at University of the Philippines. She helped draft the domestic adoption laws currently on the books. She has a kind face and is charging us an extremely reasonable flat fee for the entire process, including the four court hearings in our immediate future. No hourly billing. No conference table the size of a football field. And she says we could be done in 7 or 8 months. Hallelujah!

Amazingly supportive friends. The kind that pick your kids up from school when you're stuck in nightmare traffic with patchy cell phone reception.

Pepsi. With ice.

Edited to add that one look at the date of my post gave me a whole lot of perspective in a hurry. Of course we all remember where we were, what we were doing six years ago when we heard the horrific news. In memory of those who died, and those whose suffering endures.

Stomping Grounds part II

2007-09-07T01:33:00.000-05:00

We spent the middle leg of our trip in Spokane, where I lived until fifth grade.

It still felt familiar.

I like Spokane because it seems calm, almost lazy. Laid back. It's pretty in an understated kind of way, and people are friendly. They still have the White Elephant store and the same McDonald's where I won second place in the coloring contest at age 3. Riverfront Park looks unchanged, except for the cool new fountain beside the 100-year-old carousel. I wasn't tall enough to try for the gold ring on the carousel until right before we moved away. Sadly, during our trip Mr. First Born endured the same frustration. But he had fun feeding trash to the metal garbage goat.

There was a children's festival the day we visited the park, so the kids got to climb around inside a fire truck, bounce around inside the inflatables, and pal around with Grandpa and Grandma as they collected free loot from all the sponsor booths.

Favorite Spokane moments:

-The First-Born's baptism

-Quality time with grandmas and grandpas and cousins

-P.F. Chang's

The Old Stomping Grounds

2007-08-31T12:04:00.001-05:00

Seattle was the last stop on our trip--which makes it the easiest to write about since it's fresh in my memory. We attended the wedding of my darling friend Kendra, whom I've known since we were 11 years old. But we also got to play tourist and see a few of our favorite places (and a few new ones as well).

First off, I was shocked to see the sorry condition of the area where I grew up. Granted, it's been 15 years, but so many businesses were closed or rundown, so many houses uncared for. It made me sad. Most tragic of all was the realization that my beloved Bookworld (a huge used bookstore and mainstay of my growing up years) had become a dollar store. Aaaggghhhh!

But on to the good stuff: Pike Place Market--during its 100-year anniversary, no less--the observation deck of the Columbia building, a Mariners game (woo-hoo! kettle corn!), a ferry ride, and a blissful bachelorette party involving spa treatments and The Melting Pot restaurant. Best of all: the cool, clear air and amazing greenness of the northwest. Heaven.

Whistler's Mother

2007-08-25T04:44:00.000-05:00

We're just back from a three-week trip home to the US. It was nice to go, but nice to come home to Manila too.

The First Born learned to whistle about halfway through the trip, and spent the remaining days practicing his technique. Pretty much nonstop. Fun stuff! Cute, though.

Lots of pictures to post in the coming days.

Singapore: Day 4

2007-07-08T09:17:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning I ventured out on my own for a few hours. I fueled up with fresh orange/pinapple juice, then took a taxi to the Bugis Street market. I'm a sucker for bargaining in open-air markets, finding treasure among the silly souvenirs. (At Mustafa's I drooled over the silks and batik fabrics and even bought a few. It's never too early to gather decorating ideas for our eventual house hunt next year!)

At the outdoor market I found three spoons for Mom, pretty ones at a third of the hotel gift shop price. I picked up a hand-embroidered shoulder bag in earthy tones, and embroidered mini bags for gifts from the same vendor. This stall was my favorite by far, complete with mystical music and burning incense. Another stall had a filmy Indian tunic in a rich shade of blue--in a "Western" size, no less! Sold. Last but not least: two 5SD watches strung on woven bracelets instead of bands, which tend to get sticky and uncomfortable in the southeast Asian climate. I have terrible luck with watches, but at least if this one stops working I'll be glad I paid $3 US instead of $80 US for the Swatch I was eyeing at Mustafa's.

With the shopping bug mostly out of my system, we all met up around lunchtime and ate at a Chinese hot pot restaurant. Garrett and Kellie, having lived in Shanghai, were old pros. I was totally impressed. I'm pretty timid when it comes to eating, but I tried a few new things and enjoyed the experience. The kids weren't much interested in the food. They built a fort out of chairs in the corner.

Next we took the sky tram to Sentosa island...

...where we rode the luge--some of us more than others. This was actually a lot of fun. The First-Born is a little speed demon. Who knew? Plus the lift system that takes you and the sleds back to the top of the hill was pretty ingenious.

We shopped a little too. I came away a happy camper with a book of short stories by W. Somerset Maugham ("More Far Eastern Tales") and a gorgeous Life magazine publication
entitled "Heaven on Earth: 100 Must-See Destinations." This book will be a guiding force in shaping all future vacations. Bryce has already seen more on the list than I have, but we can fix that. Plus this seems much more manageable than the "1000 Places to See Before
You Die" book that I've paged through but never purchased. Goals are good, so long as the outcome feels attainable, right?

We finished up the day with a babysitter and a meal for the grown-ups at Morton's steakhouse at the Oriental Hotel. It was divine. Inspired. Heavenly. Can I go back?

Day 5: Return to reality.

Night Safari

2007-07-07T19:36:00.000-05:00

After the zoo we stuck around for the Night Safari, a separate area where you can either walk or take a tram to see nocturnal animals at their most active. We opted for the tram. No flash photography allowed on the tour, unfortunately, but each area was lit with high spotlights so you could see the critters grazing or roaming around. They encourage hushed voices on the tram while a guide points out animal activity and describes the native habitats. The tapirs were my favorite, round and mellow and standing within arm's reach of the tram as they munched their dinner.

A guest poster (Mr. First-Born) recalls the animals we saw: "I really liked it when I saw the fast animals. We saw rhinos. We saw a sign for flying squirrels, but I don't know why they didn't show them. We drove through water and they said to watch out for the crocodile, so we stayed near the middle. We saw deer come near the tram and then we saw elephants again. We also saw a boy elephant with big tusks. And then we arrived at the tram station and we got off the tram and we went to look around at the really nice stores. And we went home to the hotel."

That pretty much sums it up! Our good friends the Openshaws were such great sports, and perfect travel companions:

Next up: Sentosa Island.