Monday, October 8, 2007

A Matter of Perspective

If all goes well, our adoption petition will go to the courts this week. It's been a long road, with its share of setbacks and heartache. But the joy of having our daughter with us throughout the process has made it worth every moment. We've learned a lot. We're stronger and hopefully wiser than when we started. We've nearly cleared that final hurdle, though a court date could still be several months away.

And now we wonder what the future holds. Will love and honesty be enough? What questions will she ask when she's older? What issues will she face as an adopted child? How will we handle those who are curious, or prejudiced, or misinformed?

Already we've had plenty of practice with the well-meaning but misguided, "Isn't she a lucky girl?"

That's an easy one. We let them know that we're the lucky ones. And we'll let our daughter know it too, every single day.

4 comments:

Angela said...

I admire you guys for going through that whole process. Blessings to you and yours!!

Chris said...

Thank you. We tend to fuss about the inefficiency of it all, but we are truly grateful beyond measure.

Helena said...

This reminded me of a blog post that I had to go looking for: http://hereinkorea.blogspot.com/2007/05/more-about-boxes.html I thought it was interesting.

Chris said...

Thanks for the link. Definitely a thought-provoking post. From there I browsed several other blogs and sites devoted to interracial adoption, and I have to say I was surprised at the tone of a few of them.

One prevailing theme on an adoptee advocate blog was: "No one can understand what it's like for us." Other sites focused on the issue of white vs. people of color, shaking their virtual heads at the bleakness of it all, emphasizing difference, painting a picture of constant struggle. I found little hope or joy there.

I'm new at this, and maybe a touch naive. But I look at adoption as an incredible opportunity for all parties involved. I believe that heritage is important, but not at the expense of driving a wedge where there need not be one. I know there will be trials, but if we face them with resolve and even a touch of humor, we can only come out stronger on the other side.

People do make assumptions about us, but rarely out of malice. I'll happily explain our situation to those who are curious, especially if it will open minds and increase understanding.